Top 10 Race Horse Names

So you think your parents were cruel? Thank your lucky stars that you are not a racehorse - or you could have ended up on our list of strangest horse names of all time.

Horse names in alphabetical order.

AARRRRRRR

Clearly named on 'Speak Like A Pirate' Day, this equine athlete is forever doomed to draw the scorn of live commentators. On the upside, this hurdle hopping horse is probably the only animal able to kind of pronounce and say his own name - which is a skill in itself.

Crucifix
Portrait of Crucifix with jockey, by artist
John Frederick Herring, Sr.

Crucifix

Not only is this an entirely sacrilegious name for anything other than an actual crucifix, it would have been even more so between 1837 and 1857, when Crucifix was active.

However, Crucifix did a great job within her lifetime, winning three English Classic Races and giving birth to many promising new racers; including Rosary and Cardinal.

Dontmentionthewar

We all love us a Fawlty Towers reference, especially as Basil loves his horse racing. However, to properly tribute the Towers the horse should be named Dragonfly. Secondly, with horses named Deutschland, Nationalism, Feminazi and Imperial Commander running around on our tracks, it is way too late for this piece of advice.

Downhill Skier

This may very well just be a case of people getting their sports confused. This is not downhill skiing. It is not even a winter sport as such. This horse confused and conflicted equine athlete has struggled through thirty races with this strange name and won a total of four. In one of his victories he overcame another inappropriately named rival: Dancing Duo.

Foghorn Leghorn

Sure, this colt is owned by a syndicate calling themselves 'The Comic Strip Heroes' but that is no excuse to not only think Foghorn or Leghorn is an appropriate racehorse name, but to have the gall to combine them into one senselessly atrocious name. Thus far, poor Foghorn Leghorn has not yet won a race; racing commentators are not sad about it, at all.

Gay Hostess

This would have been okay, had Gay Hostess been foaled somewhere in the 1800s or at least no later than the 40s. Sadly, Gay Hostess began her racing career in the 1960s and no doubt caused a great deal of hilarity in the commentators' booth.

Jonny No Eyebrows

While we are confident that this unfortunate victim of the name-game probably does not have any eyebrows, it is still a sad, sad name to give to something as noble as a thoroughbred racehorse. With a name like Jonny No Eyebrows, we would be very surprised if the three-year-old didn't lose heart over the mockery he must endure at the stables.

Overdose

Overdose is also known as the 'Budapest Bullet' but sadly is not allowed to run under this name. This awesome racehorse, affectionately called Dozy by his connections, may be unbeatable - but he still has a silly name. To top it off, Overdose is perhaps the ugliest racehorse in this world; luckily he's really good at what he does.

Sippin' Bourbon

This seven-year-old racer is another great example of strange names running in the family, although he was quite logically named - considering his sire's moniker, Hennessy. Sippin' Bourbon's mother, I'll Get Along, traces her ancestry back to horses named Foolish Pleasure and Don't Worry Bout Me, tying in nicely with the boozy and carefree family theme.

Sorry About That

While this name is not immediately funny, it becomes funny once we look into this little runner's genealogy. Sorry About That is the result of successful pairing between Guilty Conscience and Running Naked. And he can indeed be sorry about that; we certainly are.

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